Continued from part oneof my hair pulling day at InnerCity High.
Part two of this story starts with my talking to the Counselor and I having a little sit down concerning Paris. She's been slow to get her work done with me, dragging her feet at every fraction and decimal she sees, looking over at her blackberry whenever she can't touch it, texting friends when she can.... she has one last social studies assignment to do, but hasn't bothered to do it. She has a mountain of math work to get done, but only does it around me, and like I said, grudgingly at best.
C: "What you need to do is build a relationship with her, get her trust. Anything she does in terms of school work is fine, but it's the rest of it, that emotional stuff, that's what you need to do.
Me: "I'm trying. I creep her facebook and her twitter and her tumblr... she doesn't know that I do. I'm trying to get a big picture of what this girl's about, but it's so hard. She's all about her little clique of friends... her and Nicole [her Simple Life partner in crime, remember?] hate each other, I just don't think they realize it, and I think they're afraid of what might come out of the other one's mouth if one of them left the clique.
C: "Bingo. They've seen the kind of shit that can fly outta eachother's mouths and don't wanna deal with that."
Me: "I want her to be motivated for her... not for me, not for a teacher or for her parents... I'm trying to tell her that if she keeps up the way she's acting nothings going to change, but if she changes the way she acts, then good changes will start happening. And I'm trying to tell her that if she doesn't get through this, the rest of highschool is going to be that much harder."
C: "You tell her that if she can do the work well, hand in the assignments on time, and prove that she's willing to change her behaviour around, then we can avoid streaming her into an 'alternative program.' If she can't then that's exactly where she's heading."
Paris absolutely dead refuses to go into "alt." She tells me all the time that if they put her in alt, she'll just not come to school. I can't blame her. The alt program at ICH is meant to be an environment where students who "have trouble with the regular classroom" can go to do their work at their own pace. In reality, it is little more than a babysitting program for kids who are either too slow for the curriculum or too badly behaved to keep in the classroom. As a result, instead of being any kind of help in terms of getting these kids back on track, students in alt tend to stay in alt. Penned in with people who have habits as bad as theirs or worse, they have a tendency to drag each other further and further into the cracks of the educational system, shuffled along year after year by the faculty and admin until the school, gleefully, swats their bottoms out into the real world after five long and unproductive years.
I tell this to Paris. She is not impressed.
P: "I won't do it! I won't go. If you put me in alt I'll just not come to school."
Me: "Look, the only reason they want to put you in alt is because they don't think you can make it in a real classroom. I haven't seen you in a classroom, so why don't you tell me why they might think that?"
P: "I don't know."
Me: "Paris, you have to know. You can't not know. It's not like you were sitting there, minding your own business, spelling and solving word problems when they suddenly said 'You can't be in a regular classroom anymore.'"
P: "I dont know!... We were rude to the teachers I guess."
Me: "Ok, that's a start. Why were you rude to them?"
P: "I don't know."
Me: "Ok.... did it have anything to do with friends?"
P: "I don't know."
Me: "Family?"
P: "I don't know."
Me: "The teachers themselves."
P: "I don't know."
At this point, I'm seriously trying not to explode at her. Patience.Patience.
Me: "Paris, I'm doing this for you. I don't get paid to be here. I don't get paid to give a shit. I just care. I'm trying to help you. I can't help you unless I know where you're coming from. 'I don't know' almost never means "I don't know.' It means 'I don't care' or 'I haven't bothered to think about it.' If you really don't know, then you really need to come up with the answers for yourself. You have the power here. You have the choice. You don't have to be here. You don't have to ever go to school again if you don't want to. But if you want to be able to go to school, and to finish school, you need to make the choices that are going to help you."
P: "Mhm..."
She's crying now, silently...
Me: "... Look, all those kids out in the hallway that you make fun of, that you say are stupid or immature... the school is asking way more from them then they're asking of you. The Counsellor and I can go to the Principal and convince her to keep you out of alternate, but ONLY if you can do the work to back it up and prove to her that you can make it in a regular classroom. They aren't even asking that you finish all the work! Just that you do some, do it well, and keep your temper in check. But we can't do that work for you. Now, however you do the work is up to you."
Pause
P: "... I kind of like doing the work at home on my own, like I did with socials."
Me: "We can do that, but I have to be honest with you... the school is worried that not all the work you've done is your own-"
P: "See that's what's pisses me off!-
Me: "Hey! Don't get mad at me. What do you expect them to think at first? You've done hardly anything this year. You just have to prove to them that you've learned it yourself. Do you see what I'm getting at? You show us that you can do this, and we'll work hard to see that you do. I don't want you in alternate either, ok? I'm trying to help you."
In the end, we decided on a game plan. She'd do the math at home and come in to see me next week. I'd look over what she's done and pull out a few questions from that work. She needs to show me, on paper, start to finish, that she can do those problems on her own. If she can, I'll believe that she's learned the material and I can show it, bit by bit, to the administration, and use it to build a case for keeping her in regular classes. If she can't make that happen, then we need a new game plan.
She left the room upset and frustrated, rushing out of the room and drying her tears on her sleeve. We'll see how she does over the next week... I'm really, really hoping she gets something done. Anything. Come on.
(photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ashleyrosex)
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| Photo by ashley rose (link below post) |
Part two of this story starts with my talking to the Counselor and I having a little sit down concerning Paris. She's been slow to get her work done with me, dragging her feet at every fraction and decimal she sees, looking over at her blackberry whenever she can't touch it, texting friends when she can.... she has one last social studies assignment to do, but hasn't bothered to do it. She has a mountain of math work to get done, but only does it around me, and like I said, grudgingly at best.
C: "What you need to do is build a relationship with her, get her trust. Anything she does in terms of school work is fine, but it's the rest of it, that emotional stuff, that's what you need to do.
Me: "I'm trying. I creep her facebook and her twitter and her tumblr... she doesn't know that I do. I'm trying to get a big picture of what this girl's about, but it's so hard. She's all about her little clique of friends... her and Nicole [her Simple Life partner in crime, remember?] hate each other, I just don't think they realize it, and I think they're afraid of what might come out of the other one's mouth if one of them left the clique.
C: "Bingo. They've seen the kind of shit that can fly outta eachother's mouths and don't wanna deal with that."
Me: "I want her to be motivated for her... not for me, not for a teacher or for her parents... I'm trying to tell her that if she keeps up the way she's acting nothings going to change, but if she changes the way she acts, then good changes will start happening. And I'm trying to tell her that if she doesn't get through this, the rest of highschool is going to be that much harder."
C: "You tell her that if she can do the work well, hand in the assignments on time, and prove that she's willing to change her behaviour around, then we can avoid streaming her into an 'alternative program.' If she can't then that's exactly where she's heading."
Paris absolutely dead refuses to go into "alt." She tells me all the time that if they put her in alt, she'll just not come to school. I can't blame her. The alt program at ICH is meant to be an environment where students who "have trouble with the regular classroom" can go to do their work at their own pace. In reality, it is little more than a babysitting program for kids who are either too slow for the curriculum or too badly behaved to keep in the classroom. As a result, instead of being any kind of help in terms of getting these kids back on track, students in alt tend to stay in alt. Penned in with people who have habits as bad as theirs or worse, they have a tendency to drag each other further and further into the cracks of the educational system, shuffled along year after year by the faculty and admin until the school, gleefully, swats their bottoms out into the real world after five long and unproductive years.
I tell this to Paris. She is not impressed.
P: "I won't do it! I won't go. If you put me in alt I'll just not come to school."
Me: "Look, the only reason they want to put you in alt is because they don't think you can make it in a real classroom. I haven't seen you in a classroom, so why don't you tell me why they might think that?"
P: "I don't know."
Me: "Paris, you have to know. You can't not know. It's not like you were sitting there, minding your own business, spelling and solving word problems when they suddenly said 'You can't be in a regular classroom anymore.'"
P: "I dont know!... We were rude to the teachers I guess."
Me: "Ok, that's a start. Why were you rude to them?"
P: "I don't know."
Me: "Ok.... did it have anything to do with friends?"
P: "I don't know."
Me: "Family?"
P: "I don't know."
Me: "The teachers themselves."
P: "I don't know."
At this point, I'm seriously trying not to explode at her. Patience.Patience.
Me: "Paris, I'm doing this for you. I don't get paid to be here. I don't get paid to give a shit. I just care. I'm trying to help you. I can't help you unless I know where you're coming from. 'I don't know' almost never means "I don't know.' It means 'I don't care' or 'I haven't bothered to think about it.' If you really don't know, then you really need to come up with the answers for yourself. You have the power here. You have the choice. You don't have to be here. You don't have to ever go to school again if you don't want to. But if you want to be able to go to school, and to finish school, you need to make the choices that are going to help you."
P: "Mhm..."
She's crying now, silently...
Me: "... Look, all those kids out in the hallway that you make fun of, that you say are stupid or immature... the school is asking way more from them then they're asking of you. The Counsellor and I can go to the Principal and convince her to keep you out of alternate, but ONLY if you can do the work to back it up and prove to her that you can make it in a regular classroom. They aren't even asking that you finish all the work! Just that you do some, do it well, and keep your temper in check. But we can't do that work for you. Now, however you do the work is up to you."
Pause
P: "... I kind of like doing the work at home on my own, like I did with socials."
Me: "We can do that, but I have to be honest with you... the school is worried that not all the work you've done is your own-"
P: "See that's what's pisses me off!-
Me: "Hey! Don't get mad at me. What do you expect them to think at first? You've done hardly anything this year. You just have to prove to them that you've learned it yourself. Do you see what I'm getting at? You show us that you can do this, and we'll work hard to see that you do. I don't want you in alternate either, ok? I'm trying to help you."
In the end, we decided on a game plan. She'd do the math at home and come in to see me next week. I'd look over what she's done and pull out a few questions from that work. She needs to show me, on paper, start to finish, that she can do those problems on her own. If she can, I'll believe that she's learned the material and I can show it, bit by bit, to the administration, and use it to build a case for keeping her in regular classes. If she can't make that happen, then we need a new game plan.
She left the room upset and frustrated, rushing out of the room and drying her tears on her sleeve. We'll see how she does over the next week... I'm really, really hoping she gets something done. Anything. Come on.
(photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ashleyrosex)
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